She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
