I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
