Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.