Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
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I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
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And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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