he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
