it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
