i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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