she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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