why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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