I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
