please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
