I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
