He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
