Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
