We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
