What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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