She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
