3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It was a blind-side dick pic.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
