the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
i think my cat just said my name.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
