Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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