It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
