they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
