Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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