Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
When did angry sex become our thing?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
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