your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize