so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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