I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The chlamydia really affected his face.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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