you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
