i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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