My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize