They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize