I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
