I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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