Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
