I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
