Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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