Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
