Dual....:-)
plz talk dirty to me
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
