But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
