He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
