yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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