It's like a parade of train wrecks.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
