Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
