i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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