I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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