my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize