can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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