And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I love having hate sex.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
