I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
