"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
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you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Panties = found
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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