He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
